An Extraordinary Merry Christmas

It honestly feels like Thanksgiving and Christmas were only a week apart. It just came and went so quickly. And everyone says that after the holiday season ends, the exchange year picks up even more! I am not sure how to feel about that when already 4 months have gone by and I have three trips to go, and much more to learn and discover.

Weeks 16 and 17 leading up to Christmas were pretty typical. I went to Crossfit, school, and had plenty of Christmas get-togethers. On the weekend of week 16 I went to Guayaquil with my family, and we literally just went shopping at 3 different malls/plazas the whole time. I was getting pretty annoyed by the end, but I guess there was nothing better to do. I didn't really feel comfortable looking for clothes or anything because I didn't want to make them wait while I tried things on. So I ended up just following them around and holding their bags or whatever. During week 17 there was a volleyball tournament between courses, and my course begged me to play every day. I was reluctant to play because it meant changing shirts with one of the guys for their jersey, which was always damp and gross. But I begrudgingly changed and went out there to help my team win 3 of the 4 games we played. The week of school leading up to vacation was a joke- the teachers didn't even teach and the students were allowed to pretty much play around all day. If they weren't doing volleyball, or weren't sitting at the daily Christmas assembly in school, they were being crazy in the classroom- singing, dancing, sleeping on the floor, listening to music, playing games and more. I took one day that week to get up early and go to the Supermaxi store and buy ingredients for baking Christmas treats that my Mom normally bakes back home. I first made pretzel treats and then some chocolate covered peanut butter balls (or buckeyes). I saved the buckeyes for myself- they were so good haha- and brought the pretzel treats to my Rotary Christmas dinner that Wednesday night. At the dinner, we found out our next host families. I am nervous about the change, but I still have a month left where I am so I will not get to worked up yet. I attended the Christmas show my school put on Thursday night, and was disappointed at how boring and uneventful it was. I was just expecting it to be a great event, but then the kids were all half-hearted with their singing and the older kids were only participating because they had to in order to get credit for a class. For a Christmas event, it just was not joyous for me to watch. On Friday I went out with some friends, and ended up meeting a new friend named Alyssia. She is in the peace core and is staying in Ecuador for 2 years. Now THAT is a long time to be away. We had a great conversation and she invited me to do some volunteer work with her when I can. I was excited about the new opportunity. Saturday night I had my course party which was fun when everyone was dancing together. And on Sunday, my parents hosted a Christmas party in our house for their group of friends. I went down to eat with them and listened politely to their conversations until they started to leave and then I excused myself for the night.

Start of week 18- On Monday I went to the beach with Karen and Simone and some other friends. It was a great day but I got sunburnt :( I got home finally to shower and get the sand off me before heading to Chili's for the Machala exchange students "Christmas dinner". I am honestly sick of going to Chili's each time because there are Chili's restaurants in the US, and there are plenty of other cheaper cafes that are less busy, have better food and cost way less. But oh well. It was still good to see the others and wish them a Merry Christmas. I got back to my house and my host sister and 2 other family members had arrived. I had to stay in my host sister's room for the next two nights while the other family guests stayed in mine. Before bed we ended up watching a bunch of the Jeff Dunham ventriloquist videos on Youtube (with Spanish subtitles) until 2AM because our guests found them funny. I found myself laughing too and it was nice that we could understand the same jokes in two different languages. It had been awhile since I laughed with my host family so it felt good. I got up around 9:30-10 on Tuesday and Skyped home because my family and our closest family friends were having their Christmas Eve breakfast and I wanted to say hi. That afternoon I got ready to attend church at 8pm with my counselor. There was no way I was going to miss mass over Christmas so I was glad my counselor let my come with her. When I got back from church I skyped my dad for a little while so he could tell me how their mass and dinner at home was. I went downstairs after skyping to find more company/family. We socialized until dinner at 11:30. I actually enjoyed all the food- so that's good- and ate everything on my plate (which is rare for me here). At 12 we all gave hugs and kisses on the cheek while saying "Feliz Navidad!". Then everyone opened at least one gift. I stayed up talking with our guests until 2:30 or 3. At 9:50 on Wednesday morning my host-parents got me up to finish opening our family presents. For presents I got some bracelets, nail polish, lip gloss, and a new outfit. I gave my host family presents from NH including an ornament, shot glass, t-shirt, kitchen towel, NH state cookie cutter, license plate, and book with pictures of the different regions. After exchanging gifts, I went upstairs to find that the guests that had been staying in my room had already left. I moved my things back into my room and my host family went back to bed to sleep or watch movies. I started skyping my family back home when they were starting to open their stockings. I had each person open one present in front of me. My mom opened my stocking that my grandmother had put together for me. It was nice. After skyping them, I skyped my Gramma Reid on her new iPad, then my Mema and Pepa in Florida, then my best friend Tori, and messaged other people in between. I skyped my parents a second time later in the afternoon/evening, and talked through Skype to my Uncle Mike on his Facetime. My parents opened up the rest of the presents my Mema and Pepa had for me- my traditional ones- and then told me they would put any money that I received in my account for me. I ended up turning down an invitation to dinner with some friends and just chilled in my room for the evening, working on the following video, and only leaving the room to heat up some leftover tortellini that I had made for my lunch a few days earlier. That was my Christmas. I went to bed and that was it. It doesn't feel like it happened. But at the same time, I feel much better about this holiday than I did about Thanksgiving- at least they celebrate it here. I wasn't feeling so alone and other exchangers were in the same boat.

Everyone is now talking about what New Year's Eve parties they will be going to. I am still a little hung up on Christmas. I made this video on Christmas day as a kind of progression of my Christmases. It starts off kind of sad... my Christmas photos from when I was younger, and pictures of my closest friends at our annual Christmas party, and things that I am missing from home. The song 2,000 miles by Coldplay is the perfect song for this- I calculated and am approximately 3,323 miles from my home. I am fortunate that my home is in the same time zone though- that part makes life a lot easier for me. The video then turns into my Extraordinary Merry Christmas, with my pictures from my celebrations here. I really did enjoy my class Christmas party and the dinner/celebrations with my family on Christmas Eve and early Christmas morning. I can now say that I have spent Christmas in another country, in another culture, with new family and friends. I have made new memories, and though I prefer the traditions from home, I can appreciate the traditions and family time here in Ecuador too. And though there isn't snow or Christmas carols on the radio, there are still decorations and I was able to go to a Christmas mass and they have a few Spanish Christmas songs that we listened to. I even sang two songs- "Silent Night" and "I'm Dreaming of a White Christmas"- for my family before we opened presents at 12:30 on Christmas morning. After I sang, they all commented that I have a beautiful voice and that I should try out for The Voice or some singing competition when I return to the US. Anyways, the video is kind of a representation of the bitter-sweet Christmas I had, but showing that I am okay- I am happy. I made it through the holidays and I am still here. And now, I have new stories, memories, and traditions to bring back to my family. It is good practice now because one day, I won't be able to spend Christmas or other holidays with my family. I don't like the idea of the holidays without my parents and brother just because it's what I've always known- I think of Christmas, and the most important part of the celebration for me (besides recognizing the birth of Jesus) is being with my family. But one day I'll be too far, or I'll have to go to my husband's family for Christmas, or I'll have my own family to celebrate with- my parents and brother won't always be there to celebrate with me. I'll have brought some of my favorite traditions to other places and families, but will have gained new traditions as well. I look forward to bringing some of the Ecuadorian traditions back home with me for next year's Christmas.

P.S. I am sorry if the following video doesn't work. Apparently, Youtube says I have some copyright problems with the songs, even though I went through all the normal steps so that the video would work. I tried to change the settings so that it would work again, but Youtube is weird sometimes and still may not make the video playable. Either way, if you cannot view it and would still like to, send me an email so I can send the video to you that way.

Highlights of Weeks 14 & 15

First of all, I can't believe it's already DECEMBER! Another year has already flown by. Unbelievable!

Besides the two big days I've already posted about from week 14 (Thanksgiving and saying goodbye to Sarah) here are the other things that occupied my weeks: I went to Crossfit Monday-Thursday of week 14, had three volleyball games (two of which were losses), ate two fried ice creams, one each week, had five different skype conversations with my parents, grandparents, other family and friends, had three random days off schools, had my first presentation for a Rotary, went out to eat and shop with my host parents a few times, and did some Christmas things like sending my family's Christmas cards to them, creating the shutterfly Christmas cards for my mom to order back home, downloading some classic Christmas songs, and finally taking pictures at the big lit-up Christmas tree they put up each year in our city.

Crossfit- I am so happy that I started going because it has given me something to look forward to each evening, plus the fact that it's great exercise and I am totally getting stronger (I only went once during week 15) and going back on the next Monday was rough because I totally lost a little strength already). I also have made a couple friends at Crossfit, including one lovely woman who I partnered up with on her first class and talked with the whole time and helped her. She was so sweet and it was one of the perfect examples of people in Ecuador- they make you feel so welcome and at ease, even though my Spanish still isn't perfect. 

Volleyball- so the first game was on Wednesday of week 14 and we got there just to sit, and wait, and return to school because the other team forfeited by not showing up. This is probably the only reason we made it to the finals anyways. But the next week played in the semi-finals against Emaculate and lost (even I didn't play that great, probably because I woke up to my classmate asking if I was on my way to the game so I had to rush to put on my uniform and take a taxi there). We had one last game where we played for third. I really wanted to win because we had beaten Santa Maria the first game I played with the team, and I would have loved to take home a medal from volleyball in Ecuador. So, I played great. But my teammates...I'll put it nicely...they just don't know how to control the volleyball. So, if I didn't pass the ball or serve it, we normally lost the point. So that was pretty disappointing. 

Fried ice cream- Thank goodness #NoSugarNovember is over, because my friends and I discovered this place by the park that sells fried ice cream and it is seriously the most delicious thing ever. So delicious that when my parents mentioned getting fried ice cream a week later, and wondered where to find some, I told them right where to go. You pick your flavor ice cream that they have already covered in the batter, then they fry it in minutes and put it on a plate with some fruit and drizzle it with chocolate and strawberry sauce. Mmmm :) 

Skype- it is always wonderful to talk with my family and friends back home. I have had 3 hour conversations with some of my closest friends and family.

Three days off- I sleep or go to a friends house, nothing new there :) 

First rotary presentation- My presentation went really well. I got up there and shared a powerpoint of pictures of my home, friends, family, school, and hobbies from back home. From what I could tell, the Rotarians understood my Spanish and everything I said. A few Rotarians that knew I sing well, asked me to sing at the end of my presentation, which I was happy to do because I've found that after I sing for somebody I meet here, they remember that fact about me and it makes conversation after a lot easier. I guess it has become my ice-breaker tactic with Rotarians.

Out with my host parents- My host parents and I went out 4 or 5 different times over the two weeks for errands, shopping, and to get something to eat. I hadn't spent that much time with them in a while (I took a break from weekend parties) so it was good to get back to some "family time". I find that going out with them is always nice because I am more talkative with them when we are out than when I am at home (because truthfully, I am always in my room sleeping or on my laptop when I am at home). One of my favorite times with my host parents is when we go to the grocery store together on Sunday nights. I know it seems so simple, but I think that's why I like it so much. It makes me feel like this is my family and I am going grocery shopping with them and life is normal. Also, it is amazing how grocery shopping can strike up conversation about what they have in Ecuador compared to what I would buy at Hannafords and Walmart in the US. 

Christmas preparations- Well, the decorations have been up since early November, but there was still plenty to do. I bought Hallmark Christmas cards and translated them from Spanish to English and then sent them to my family back home. They have recieved them, which is a relief because I get nervous about the mailing service here in Ecuador. I have yet to recieve a couple cards from my grandparents and it's sad to think they might never arrive. Anyways, the past few years I have taken the liberty of doing my family's Christmas card to send out to all of our family and friends. It is something I really do enjoy doing- it's an artistic thing. So, I went on Shutterfly and picked some design options that I like and played around with the pictures and designs for a couple days before sending my favorites to my parents to choose the one we would use. This and downloading some new and classic Christmas music as helped the Christmas spirit a little bit. It is still so weird to me that it is Christmas time just because I am so used to hearing a bunch of Christmas music on the radio and the snow and just more of a joyous feeling in the US. Maybe it's because I am not at home with my mom's delishious Christmas goodies that she bakes. But I am doing my best to remember that this experience will be a positive one- I am getting to experience this holiday in a different culture. I may not be with my family, but I will be back next year. This is my chance to see how it's done in another country. I think that's cool. Part of seeing how it's done in Ecuador- I got to go see the big lit-up Christmas tree that they put up in one of the open parks near the mall in my city. It is the biggest one in Ecuador, and it is pretty incredible. They set up a bunch of fair games, a little train tour, tons of food stands, and even a few kiddy rides. And besides the tree, the whole park was decorated with lights, a nativity scene, and a little log cabin where everyone lined up to go see Santa. It was nice to see the space all decorated instead of it's usual empty dirt/grass space.


Photos of the big tree and Christmas fair:

Those Huevos Chilenos are sooooo good!!!! :)

And the paintings are by a guy using spray paint... it was cool to watch him make them. He is talented.

And finally...

Christmas Countdown: 12 days!!

A Lonely Thanksgiving

It was another emotional day for me- one of the times that my emotions have made me obnoxiously grumpy, and I apologize to those who dealt with my attitude on Friday morning as a result of the previous day.  

I took a recording on Thursday night to try and do a video blog. Let’s just say I ended up crying and I am not comfortable sharing the video and the state I was in. However, I decided to watch it again and type up most of what I said. Some parts may be repetitive as I was emotional and just saying what came to mind, but hopefully you get my points. Here we go:

“First of all, Happy Thanksgiving. I’ll admit, this is pretty hard for me. And I knew it would probably be one of the hardest things I’d have to deal with going on exchange just because I am such a big family person. I love my family very, very much. So being apart from them, especially on the holidays when they are all together and enjoying, is very difficult for me. They are such a big part of my life and being separate on the holidays is a big challenge for me.  

People talk about what Thanksgiving really means, and it’s being faithful for the opportunities that you have, the things that you have, all the blessings you have. And I am so very grateful to be here in Ecuador, I truly feel that. I am grateful for where I ended up, the host family I have right now, the times and experiences that I’ve had here so far, and I am going to get to experience more with the friends I have made- it’s just all been amazing and I have so much to look forward to. And I wouldn’t give up this opportunity for the world- it’s only one year away from my family- but even then it’s very hard. It’s the first year being apart from them. I am very thankful to be here, even though I don’t necessarily feel it right now.  It makes me think about the future, when I won’t be able to spend every Christmas with my grandparents, parents, and brother.

Of course, I tried to make things as normal as I possibly could. I stayed home from school and found a website to live-stream the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade, which is always a favorite of mine.  And I am fortunate to have Skype, so I Skyped my family earlier this morning which was wonderful- but the vibe is still completely different when you aren’t sitting there talking to them all in person, enjoying their company.

It is hard to explain the customs back home because they are so different and it’s really frustrating to have people not understand how important these things are to you. Family means a lot here in Ecuador too. Family is everything to these people, really- they all pretty much live close by and talk about their relatives or spend time with them often. They get together for parties and the immediate family always has lunch together. You don’t see US families eating lunch or dinner together anymore. There is less and less family unity because they live so far apart, and they don’t put forth much effort to get together. That’s where I think the holiday season is so important in the states, just because it is the one time that families really do come together to share a meal, share presents, share company and  joy. That being said, for me to not be there, even with the close family I do have, it is hard. And the people here are not about to understand how a holiday like Thanksgiving is special, but back home they do. So I miss that.

I went out to our local Supermaxi last night to try and buy some food for a makeshift Thanksgiving dinner. I bought instant mashed potatoes, rolls, deli turkey, cranberry juice, and two different dessert options. They did sell turkeys, but I wasn’t about to buy a big one to cook and eat on my own. There was no gravy, cranberry sauce, squash, or pumpkin anything anyways.

We (me and the other American exchange students in my city) tried to organize a nice Thanksgiving dinner for all of us in the two Machala Rotary clubs, but we never pulled it together as the others didn’t seem to care about or understand the holiday and nobody was willing to skip school like I was to celebrate (which I found odd). They even suggested doing it on Saturday but I knew that doing it after the holiday would just feel ridiculous.

All I wanted was to recognize the holiday! I stayed home, thinking of my family because I didn’t want to be stuck in a class while trying to explain to the other students why I was upset, only for them to not understand and tell me to cheer up. I wasn’t going to deal with it.

I guess in the end, I was most upset about the letdown of being alone all day.  I had plans all set for my friend to come over after school so we could put together the food I bought, watch some DVDs, and just enjoy. But there I was at 5pm, texting her and asking if she still planned on coming over. Her response was “I don’t think so”. And this was just another blow to my day, reiterating the fact that what is normally an important holiday for me just wasn’t understood by others who don’t celebrate it. I just felt so alone, and hurt that she didn’t keep our plans, especially when I could have used the distraction from the loneliness. Not only did it make the food that I brought pointless without someone to share it with, but at that point, I was in no mood to eat such a poor excuse for the meal I would normally eat at home with my family. Of course, Thanksgiving shouldn’t be about the food, it’s about the atmosphere and the idea of giving thanks to the abundance of food that you are eating and the family around the table, alive and ready to indulge with you. But I still thought it would be nice to try and represent the food at home, and laugh with my friend about what I would normally be eating, and to have a happier atmosphere while sharing my usual traditions with her and thanking her for keeping me company. But that didn’t happen.

I am predicting that Christmas and New Years are going to be tough for me as well; they will be my true test. Because it’s not like I am going home, I have zero intentions of going home early, but it is certainly where my heart is on this Thanksgiving Day. And I feel bad for getting upset but then again, I have a right to feel this way, don’t I? I have never spent a Thanksgiving without my family, or a Christmas without them.  And for me, spending a holiday alone has got to be the worst feeling in the world- it is so tough. Because you want to celebrate but you can’t seriously enjoy celebrating a holiday alone; you can celebrate, but I can’t find much enjoyment in it. It’s like the home alone movie now makes total sense to me- I now understand just how awful it feels to spend the holiday alone. But what can I do? I can’t take a plane home for the day. It just won’t happen.

The only positive thing I can think to say is that maybe, maybe, Christmas will be a little easier. I say that because at least here in Ecuador they do celebrate Christmas and they celebrate it with plenty of parties, food, and family. It is still celebrated with different customs and traditions, but I think I may enjoy Christmas here because at least the people will understand the significance of the Christmas holidays and believe what I do. I will miss my family no doubt, but I will not be alone, and I will have some similarities to home as well as other events to distract me a little from focusing on what I am missing out on at home. And the majority of exchange students will be in the same boat over the holidays just because Christmas is more widely celebrated and we will all be missing home at this time. We can help each other get through it.”

That is where I stopped the video. I was thinking too much about everything and had to get tissues for the tears that had started running down my face halfway through the video.  Honestly, typing it out for you all was a better idea just because you can understand what you’re reading instead of trying to decipher my sniffy, mumbled speech.

I feel fine now that the holiday has come and gone, and I think it was important to share this post for two reasons. One, it shows my true emotions and thoughts of dealing with holidays on exchange, and two, it is good way to look back and remind myself to focus on the positives. This experience really shows you and reminds you of the things at home that you often take for granted or forget. It helps you realize what is most important in your life, and what you want to make sure you cherish when you return home. I have always cherished my family but it is just so clear how important they are to me right now while I am living miles away from them and having to do things more on my own. I certainly don’t think I’ll ever want to be away from them on the holidays in the future, if I can help it. P.S. I hope you all had a Happy Thanksgiving day no matter where in the world you were, what you ate, or who you celebrated with (I hope you weren’t alone). 

Already Saying Goodbye

First of all, two days ago, December 2, 2013, was my 100^th day on exchange! WOO! 1/3 of my exchange is already over. It is amazing how fast it flies by.

Second of all, this is a long post coming at you. If you can stay with me all the way to the end- that's great- but if you'd rather just read about my experience of saying goodbye, that's fine too, just stop at the disclaimer paragraph. 

On Sunday December 1^st, I accompanied my friend Sarah to the city of Guayaquil and then to the airport where I had to say goodbye before she boarded the plane back to France. She didn’t do anything wrong, and I won’t go into the details, but Sarah was not happy here in Ecuador and was excited to be going home. She did say she would miss three friends- Simone, Karen and I- but that was about it.

This is the second situation that I’ve been in where I just couldn’t understand how I was feeling because I had so many thoughts and emotions running through my mind at once. Earlier that morning, I watched as Sarah loaded the car and said goodbye to her second host parents (that she had only lived with for the past week) and get in the car of her first host family who was taking us to Guayaquil without any hesitation or emotion. She had left her Rotary blazer, French flag, business cards, school uniform and Panama hat in the house, saying she didn’t want to bring them home because she wouldn’t use them. Karen and Simone couldn’t make the trip to Guayaquil with us, but I was glad Sarah had at least one friend, someone she cares about, there to say goodbye. I helped Sarah with her carry-on bag while she checked in her larger suitcase, then we made our way to the checkpoint where only passengers with tickets can enter. It was time…

I turned to Sarah and gave her a huge hug and kiss on the cheek. We broke apart for me to tell her to take care and don’t forget to text me when you get home safely. We embraced a second time, and I told her that I better see her again one day when she invites me to visit France. She then hugged her former host mom (the only other person that accompanied us to the airport) and came back to give me one last hug. I told her I’d miss her and I love her. She said the same back to me- the only difference was that she was smiling when I had a disappointed expression on my face. We broke from the hug and she turned around to head into the checkpoint. Her host mother and I watched as she walked a little ways, turned back to wave, and then continued on to hand the security guard her customs slip before slipping around the corner.

Saying goodbye is never easy. I did not cry, but I felt my muscles tighten to hold back any emotions as she walked away. This is one thing that they don’t prepare you for in orientation. What do you do when a friend leaves their exchange- especially when it is earlier than expected? Whether they got in trouble by breaking the rules, or they are leaving voluntarily, or they are too homesick to continue… the circumstance doesn’t matter because the result is the same- you have to say goodbye.

The relationship I had with Sarah was finally at a point where we understood each other really well. At first it was tough because she doesn’t speak much English and I speak maybe 20 words of French so the foundation of our communication and friendship was in Spanish. We were at a place where she was comfortable spending time with me and where we joked around with each other in Spanish. She even taught me to say some Spanish phrases in French. I do want to believe that I will see Sarah again later in life. I hope that I can meet up with her in my future travels. And I hope above all that she keeps in touch throughout the rest of the year, because I am going to miss her being here.

Being at the airport with Sarah and watching her go got me thinking. How will I spend my last day here? How will the ride to the airport be? Who will say goodbye to me? What’s the last food I’ll eat in Ecuador? Who is the last person I’ll hug? Will I cry? Will I be excited to see my family after so long? I was glad to be there and support her as a friend. I am glad she had someone to hug and mean it when she said “I’ll miss you”. But just because I was glad to be a friend for Sarah doesn’t take away how weird it felt to be saying goodbye to someone I thought I would be hanging out with for the next 7 months. Being there, knowing that I have another 200 days to go before I am the one turning around for the airplane, it felt very wrong. It made me uncomfortable to be honest. Ecuador and I have unfinished business- there is no way I could decide to go home only after 1/3 of my exchange.

The majority of people that go on exchange will tell you the same thing- the first three months are the toughest! You have the challenge of adjusting to a new country, of course that is far from easy. When you go to orientation, you are told time and time again that you have people to support you through the hard times and that once you get past the rough, you will have the best time of your life. You are told to mentally prepare yourself for what’s to come, so that you can recognize your situation and overcome the problems in the best way possible. But it doesn’t work out for everyone.

I want to make a disclaimer on this next section until the end and just say that I am in no way being insensitive towards Sarah or anyone who ends up going home after three months of exchange, especially if the circumstances are bad. I am only sharing my opinion and why I couldn’t decide to leave my exchange after three months for circumstances that can be overcome in the future months like not knowing enough of the language, not being ready for these emotions, or having too much trouble with homesickness. I am sure everyone has their own feeling towards this, but I would like to share mine:

I guess I have a hard time understanding how a person can leave after three months of exchange, when they have barely given it a chance. The hard stuff should be starting to grow easier, thus making your time spent more enjoyable by the beginning of the fourth month. I know of people who have left their exchange in really bad shape and I fully believe that they made the right decision to leave. There absolutely are circumstances where leaving is really the only option. And I respect that. And maybe I have a more hopeful or positive mindset, thinking that things will get better, but I personally can’t imagine leaving this experience, something that I planned and prepared for, spent a lot of money on, and my family and friends have accepted, just to come back after 3 months.

Here is my analogy-it’s like paying for an amusement park ride, telling all of your family and friends you are going on this amazing 3000 ft ride, only to ride the first 1000 feet of the ride, feel scared, and decide to get off before the rest of it- before getting to the good part. What do you tell your family and friends when you get back not having finished the ride? I personally would regret not riding the whole thing! And what happens to the people- any new friends you made- on the first part of the ride? How do they react to you leaving? It just seems like so much more effort to stop the ride than to brave it out until the better part of the ride. Or better yet, at least ride 2/3 of the ride. By that point, you have a better judgment of whether the ride gets better or is just going to leave you disappointed and feeling like you wasted time. But this “ride” is an experience to learn and grow, and making it through the bad times is much more rewarding than giving up. Even a hard ride is one you should be proud of if you make it through. I wouldn’t call that disappointing or a waste of time- I’d call it an accomplishment. I feel like leaving after three months is admitting defeat, or admitting that you weren’t prepared for exchange, weren’t prepared to accept the challenge, the change, the distance, the new life. And I am not saying exchange is a competition. But I see completing a year in another country as a success- something not everyone can do. No, it doesn’t always work out. Not everyone is ready. But I signed up for the whole ten months; I paid for the whole amusement park ride. To me, that is the confirmation that I am ready for the experience, ready to be an exchange student. It’s my mindset. And if you arrive on exchange and aren’t ready, you either embrace a new mindset- push through, and make yourself ready- or you are negative and admit you weren’t ready from the start.

3 months is a short amount of time. How can a person possibly develop a completely enjoyable and problem free exchange in three months’ time? You can’t! Most people are still trying to get accustomed to their new life up until the end of the holidays, when the make it through any homesickness or culture shock from the difference in traditions and the separation from family back home. And in three months, how many people are going to see you to the airport? Sarah had 2 people with her. And she didn’t even take home any souvenirs of her time spent here! They weren’t important to her because from day 1 she was negative about being in Ecuador.

I want this experience not only to impact my life, but impact the other lives around me. I want the 20+ people I care for most and become close with on this exchange journey to be at the airport to hug me goodbye,  just as I hope they want to be there hugging me back. I want to be sad to leave- I can already tell by how I felt at the airport with Sarah that it will be an emotional and bitter sweet experience for me when the time comes. I want leaving to be significant. I want to take souvenirs with me. And I think that it means so much more when you have affected the people and the country as much as they have affected you. That’s why I am here. To grow and learn and have this unique experience become a part of who I am, a part of my history, a special memory, a new skill and language, a second family, home and culture. Not many people can say they have a home and a family in two different countries. It takes time to develop that kind of relationship. That is why this experience is 10 months long. Through this experience my hope is that I develop this kind of relationship. I hope I can come home saying that I do have a home in Ecuador that I can return to and feel positive about. I say this because I want students to know what they are signing up for. There are challenges, but the rewards of an exchange year will follow you well into the future. The power of the mind is such an incredible thing. I really believe that my exchange is going so well because I take everything in with my positive mindset, even if emotionally I disagree. For example, my emotions are sad to be away from my family on the holidays, but my mindset is keeping me strong, reminding me of the positives, the reasons I am here, and reminding me that I will have holidays with my family next year. 

In closing, I want to say that I will always encourage people to look into exchange, but I also trust and pray that through the interview process and orientations, the students are honest with their district coordinators and with themselves so that they don't make a mistake. I just think going for a little while and coming home is much more disappointing than being honest from the start and saying "I am not ready". But that is easier said than done I'm sure, and something that I feel the students don't think about when all they hear are the positive and glorified stories of travel and language and friendships from the rebound students. I will also bring up that maybe it is about the age of the student as well. I keep saying that the gap year option is the best choice I have ever made. My friend Sarah arrived at age 16 and just turned 17 a few weeks before leaving. I am 18 and my birthday is in May. Being even 1 or 2 years older than most of the students here has made me look at how much more maturity and knowledge I have than the younger ones... And how much responsibility I take sometimes to watch out for the naïve ones as they go out thinking that nothing bad can happen to them. I even hear the younger students complaining about their host families and all the problems they have, and I listen politely but think... “Wow I don't have any of these issues” or “I would have handled that situation so much more maturely or respectfully”.

Just some food for thought if you are prospective exchange student- Ask yourself the following: Why are you going on exchange and what are you looking to get out of it? How do you feel about leaving behind school friends and family for this duration of time?  Are you doing this for you or are your parents telling you to? What is your mindset, or how would you handle a situation such as homesickness or a tough host family? If you answer honestly, and don’t feel the need to lie to yourself or others if a question concerns you, then I think you will be able to overcome the challenges of exchange in order to have an amazing time. Remember, there is a big difference between anxiousness and doubt. If you doubt your ability to make it through the year abroad, you’re thinking too much about what you will be missing at home, are perhaps negative about the country placement, or don’t want to put in any effort to study the language before leaving; maybe you need to re-evaluate your decision to go.